Take Me To Post Comment Form Back in the day my I had a friend who used to say to me, "Log, you’ve got that down to a science." You might be wondering why this person referred to me as “Log.” Well, I might be wondering why you’re sitting there reading this with no pants on, but I’m not because I tend to my own business, jerk! What was I saying? Oh yes… In most cases I did have everything down to a science. See folks, everything has a science. Bagging groceries, vacationing, watching movies, playing putt-putt...even making out... EVERYTHING has a science. So let's talk about some sciences eh? 1. Bagology - The first science is an ancient practice, Bagology, or for the layman - "bagging groceries." It was first developed by the ancient Babylonian Hammurabi as the sequel to “The Code of Hammurabi” called: “The Code of Hammurabi 2: Electric Bugaloo” His extensive research revealed that one must discover and use something called “the common sense God gave a dog.” For instance this common sense would tell the ancient Babylonian grocery bagger that he should put all the frozen items together in one bag if possible as that helps keep the items cold. There is no reason to put the ancient frozen waffles in a bag with the ancient ketchup and jelly. Also Hammurabi rightly discerned, with no Google to help him, that things like bread or potato chips should never be put in a bag with anything hard, say cans of soup. “Lo, most should know this,” he wrote, “But thine would be surprised that some do not know this. Forsooth, my chips haveth been crushed by an ignorant Babylonian Bagger Boy.” Bagology is really, in essence, the simple practice of putting like items together. 2. Putt-Puttology - Putt-puttology is of course, the science of playing putt-putt. I have discovered that there is a secret "key" to every hole. Imagine every course being an algebra problem and your job is to find the solution with a certain number of tries. Take for instance a course in which there is a pond on the left side of the green. Obviously the "key" is "don't shoot the ball in the water." Or how about a course where there is some sort of rock in the middle and you have to shoot around it? Here the "key" is "don't bounce your ball off the rock." This science was first developed by William J. Putt-Putt but did not become truly accepted until Karl A. Minnygulf published his famous thesis, “The Philosophy of Putt Putt.” His thesis included an extensive treatment on rocks, "When making your shot, don't hit the rock yo... that costs you a stroke." 3. Noteology - This particular field of study is somewhat unknown but it involves the practice of making concise notes for others. When leaving a note for someone it is generally a good idea to include the simple facts or the result. For instance, if you are leaving electronic notes in a patient's file at your place of employment, it is really only necessary to include the name of the person to whom you spoke and the end result of the conversation. It is not necessary to include your personal feelings on the matter, the way the other person sounded, the current weather, or your thoughts on what you are wearing. Also notes should be free from excess abbreviation. This allows for others not initiated in the writer's abbreviation cult to easily read the note. A bad example of a note is: "Spk w/ pt con. tx. Pt wnts tx but ins no cover due to dx. W/ F/u Wed." The problem with this note is, and pay close attention here, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE EXCEPT TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT! I would love to go on with more obscure sciences, Make-Outology for example, but I’m deep in the middle of “The Code of Hammurabi 3: The Revenge of the Fallen Electric Bugaloo” and I can’t wait to see how it ends!